Can Working On My PIES Push My Spouse Away?

Our live caller explains that her husband is in an affair and wants out but she’s concerned that she’s “pushed” him away even more. She says, “I started working on the PIES… Is it possible that working on myself, showing him that I can do things for myself, that I’m not dependent on him, and that I can be emotionally stable, is it possible that doing these things pushes him away?”

She wonders… Does he see that I don’t need him and really wants out? She wonders… Does he feel shame/inadequacy of what he isn’t doing?

(*If you’re new to Marriage Helper, and you’ve heard us talking about the “PIES,” it refers to the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects of a person & becoming the best person you can be!)

So, does improving yourself physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually push your spouse away?

Kimberly explains the first question she would ask back is, “If it were pushing your spouse away, would you stop? Would you not want to be the best version of yourself in order to keep your spouse around?”

Improving yourself and working on the PIES is not something you do in order to “get” your spouse back. Rather, you do the PIES because it’s the best thing you can do for yourself! You become the best version of yourself!

You come across as more attractive if you demonstrate your strength and your capabilities.

It could be that when you’re working on your PIES, becoming a confident, independent person, that your spouse is taken aback- they don’t understand what’s happening, they wonder if it’s real, and are confused. But, OVER TIME, it’s the BEST thing you can do for yourself and your marriage!

Wanting to know how to work on your PIES? We have a resource where you can learn specific things to do & set your own goals! Get the PIES Bootcamp now for just $7!

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